Don't talk about magic!
by Miss Jemand
Summary: Our main chara is an ordinary woman... but what happens when, by chance, your house ends up being the scene of a battle between Death Eaters and members of the Order and they tell you about flying broomsticks at 4.00 am? That changes it all, right?
1. 0 Introduction

Hi people! This is an experiment. I'm writing this fanfic in my native language, Spanish, but I wanted to try and translate it to English. This is just the intro 'cause I'm not really sure I'm going to keep translating… it depends on my English skills. I'd like you to tell me if it's alright, or if it's too wrong to keep on with it. Thanks so much for everything,

~Miss Jemand.

* * *

_**Introduction**_

The truth is that I don't know how to start. How the hell do I tell a story? Let's see… well, yes, obviously. First I must introduce myself. My name is Elizabeth Taylor. Yes, yes, I know, like the actress, I'm sick of hearing that. My grandmother was called Elizabeth, and as apparently my parents did not have a very creative moment when I was born, you can already imagine. You can call me Elizabeth, Liz, Libby, Liza, Eli, Beth ... whatever you want; anyway, I dislike all those ways to name me... but my friends call me Taylor. Yes, my name is also a manly name – so what? It would be serious if I had that complex ... how do they call it? Yes, this Tomboy complex... well, the fact is that I'm happy to have a pair of boobs, and sorry if it sounds wrong –even if they're not such a great thing. Anyway, who cares... what was I talking about? ... oh, yeah. My name. Forgive me if I beat around the bush, I don't know how to start.

I live in a crummy city. It is an English village away from the hand of God, or it would be if I believed in God… I believe in Karma and all that stuff, because... bah, I'm wandering again. Anyway, my city is small, there's no great entertainment, and the weather's like hell almost all year long, it has no beach and the streets are not too… graceful. Lovely, isn't it?

I'm 26. I work in a library, a very risky job where you can lose your life. No, seriously, you can stumble upon a book. Leaving the nonsense, the library is not so bad: my friends are nice, and I don't do too much physical effort. I love reading and I spend all day long doing it because somehow the time has to pass by, I guess. Sometimes I have to take care of the children's section, and it's funny because the kids have very abstract thoughts make you laugh. The trouble comes later, when the children are at home, and you have to arrange the books just to discover that they are full of snot, chocolate, and occasionally they smell like strawberry candy, preferably although I don't really know why. These are moments in my life when I feel like catching the first plane to the North Pole and becoming an Eskimo.

I am a simple person. Skeptical and sarcastic, but simple in the end. I like to sit on the couch with a cup of coffee while I re-watch _Interview__with the Vampire_, not because of the argument but because of Tom Cruise with that long, blond hair.  
Anyway, I have something to confess: I'm tired of my life. Or I was, before the story began. But I prefer to speak using the present tense. Do you know that feeling of emptiness when something is missing? With 26 years we are supposed to be at the prime of life, as the grannies say. While my friends were dying out killing their liver with the alcohol, their lungs with all those cigars and the skin with all those kilos of pre-makeup anti-wrinkle cream, I was dying from the inside. Well, it sounds poetic, but it is not.

Not that I felt special, someone different, someone destined for great things, no one being misunderstood. No, I'm a current gal, as everyone is. I daydream of living in a world full of glitter and riding on the back of an unicorn – a thought that causes me laughter. I just... I was bored of the routine; I was tired that Chance passed by me. And apparently, Chance was also bored of passing by me. So one day, as the monotony is annoying and occasionally must change, Chance decided to remember that I existed and it brought changes to my life. And as there had passed more than eight years since it had brought changes to my life, the changes were large – to compensate. I would have been happy enough if someone had given me a puppy, or if I had found a £100 bill on the street. But it was not like this. It was much more problematic...

* * *

That's it! ;)


	2. 1 Insanity night

_So here's chapter 1. I hope you like it. As I said, my English is awful, but I'm trying to improve…! Please, notice me if I do big fat mistakes…! Thanks! :)_

_

* * *

_

_**Chapter 1. Insanity night.**_

I came back from the library quiet late that night. I was _hell-like_ cold –just like my Australian cousin says when she comes to England. That evening I had had to arrange the already mentioned sticky-books and I notified that one more page was missing from _The Brave Piggy_, and _Jasper the Turtle_ had two new chocolate stains. My boss caught my attention saying that I had to be more careful and avoid the kids from eating when they were playing among the book piles. And yeah, she was right. But anyway, as I don't like that people catch my attention, nor that being humiliated, I came back home in a bad mood.

When I finally made it to my apartment, I went upstairs heavily, threw my coat, my scarf, my gloves, my jacket underneath, my mountain-boots… a whole arsenal against the cold. Winter is a holy bastard if you live in the north of England, so if you are planning to move in here, think it twice.

I didn't like going to bed in a bad mood. Why? Well, I guess that I'll have to explain. I don't go around shouting it from the rooftops, but it's not top secret. If I fall asleep when I'm nervous or upset, I dream. Yeah, well, everybody dreams, right? But my dreams are… how to explain? Quiet real. Sometimes they're too much real because they end up happening. No, no, I'm not a psychic, nor I see the future, nor I'm a superhero. Premonitory dreams are normal. I'm sure that you all have a friend that has ever had one, or maybe you yourselves have had one. I don't consider it as something… paranormal. The animals foresee the danger before it happens, right? Yeah, don't they? Well, we humans are animals in the end, although we have a quite atrophied brain if we talk about animal instincts. But occasionally, some people are born –more than you can imagine – with that brain side more developed.

The thing is that I have those animal-like instincts. Since I was a kid. Sometimes they were meaningless things just like the neighbour's dog would bark to the postman. Other times, I saw accidents. I was already used to it. But the last dream I had had... it had been weird. Yeah, I know, dreams are always weird. But this one was not credible. In it, there were two hooded figures dressed in black; one of them was a woman with dishevelled hair. They were talking about things I can't remember, the dream was abstract, but I knew that they were arguing and… well, you see, a very film-like dream when I usually dreamt about everyday things that could happen. But anyway, the human mind is a mystery…

Gutted, I took off my clothes quickly and I got in the shower so fast that I almost tripped. But it was cold, and hot water called me: if I was going to lose my life to get inside the shower, it's worth. While I laughed because of the silliness of my thoughts I decided what to eat. A pizza would be enough; I'm a person that doesn't like the kitchen too much.

When I got out, I put on a pink bear-patterned pyjama –I had more beautiful pyjamas, but not that warm – and then I go the pizza in the oven. While I was having dinner I switched on the TV and watched a part of Terminator, who knows which part it was: the 1st, the 2nd, the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th… ¿was there a 5th? Whatever.

As I passed the idle hours in a silly way, 3.00 a.m. arrived. I switched off the TV, but the sofa has one of those supernatural powers that attract you to it, preventing you to go to bed. And as I am a pacifist, I obeyed the sofa and fell asleep right there.

* * *

I had no clue about how long I had slept when a noise woke me up suddenly. Broken glass. I felt a lump in my throat at once; was there a better way to wake up? I first thought about burglars. What if they had come to steal? What if…? But I had no more time to think because –and just don't ask me how – an explosion tore down the wall between me and whatever there was out there. And then I saw it. Everything happened so fast. Three hooded people crossed my living room at full speed, while I hid under the table, behind the sofa. They didn't even notice that I was there. There were many flashes and even more explosions. I had no clue why I didn't scream. I guess that's what they mean with the expression "speechless". Soon the room filled with even more people, and I, blinded because of the flashes, was able just to hear them screaming, and I couldn't even understand what they said.

-¡_Crucio_! –cried a woman's voice. It sounded weirdly familiar to me. Before I could relate to that voice, some pain cries gave me a start. I was scared to death. If I had had my mobile phone in hand, I wouldn't have been able to call the police because my hands were trembling just like jelly.

There was another big explosion and, among the shouting, suddenly there was silence. I peered silently behind the sofa. Where were the hooded ones? There… there were three people more, they looked exhausted. I wasn't sure of what I saw because the air was full of dust, ashes and other debris caused by the bangs, but they dressed in a strange way. Then someone arrived.

"… they have escaped" said a hoarse voice, and then coughed.

"Have you discovered anything?" asked the newcomer. He was old, judging by his voice. I peered again and I saw an impeccable white beard. I was starting to doubt if I was still asleep, but I proved that I wasn't when a splinter of wood slipped into my airways and I started coughing.

"Albus, there is someone there!" Fuck, fuck, fuck! You damn splinter of wood, couldn't you have stayed in your place? I cringed under the table as if I was a kid, what else could I do? "There's a woman!"

A stout man looked behind the sofa and saw me under the table. He had something strange in his face. What the hell was that? A false… eye? It spun endlessly, but I was even more scared when it focused on me. I bit my lower lip.

"A _muggle_" he said huskily, almost in a bad mood. "Do you live here?" I was silent. "Can you speak, girl? This is your flat, right?"

I nodded quickly a few times, silently, but I didn't move from under the table.

The white-bearded old man appeared and gave me a fatherly smile. What was wrong with that man? Why was he smiling as if nothing had happened? Shit, he was offering me his hand. I thought it twice.

"Would you get out of down there, young lady? It's all over" he said in a soft voice. I know I'm an idiot, but I felt better when I heard those words.

I took his hand, stood up and I felt I had low blood pressure. My legs failed me and I staggered like a peg-top, could anything be more ridiculous? And why wasn't I able to talk? I must have a serious argument with my vocal chords later…

"I take care of this mess" said a black man dressed in strange violet clothes. If I hadn't been in shock, I'd have smiled finding similarities between his cap and _Abu_'s cap, the monkey from _Aladdin_. He disappeared into the kitchen.

"What are we gonna do with the _muggle_?" said the man with the mad eye. He seemed really impatient. I felt fear, that was the question: what were they gonna do with me?

"Erase her mind" said another man. "What else?"

"What?" At last! My vocal chords responded!

"Don't you worry, it will be the best for you" said the old man, taking a stick from the pocket of his robe.

"No-no-no-no, wait, wait, what?" I started feeling angry because of not understanding a shit. "What's going on here? Those hooded guys, the woman…? The woman?" I blinked.

My brain cells finally had time to connect two individual files of my brain. "The woman!" The woman, the images appeared in my mind just like a cold water bucket, and the dream became clearer than ever meanwhile the men that were in the room stared at me with confusion, fearing that the trauma could have seriously damaged my mind. "How was it? Be… Bea…"

"Bellatrix?" asked one of them, narrowing his eyes as if everything was so surreal. It was kinda ironic.

"Yes!" I shouted, gesturing with my wands when I remembered that name.

"Albus…" said the man that had reminded me the name. "This is… odd."

The old man was inspecting me involved in a halo of seriousness. I didn't know what to do.

"How do you know that woman, darling?"

"I… saw her" How to explain?

"You saw her…? Where?" The mad-eye man put me under pressure.

"In a dream."

Okay, that was the straw that broke the camel. Now all of them stared at me like I was a freak, when actually they were the nutty people that had had broken into my house at breaking down between explosions and flashes. I was starting to feel dizzy again.

"Sirius" said Albus, the old man, to the man that had mentioned that «_Bellatrix»_. "Could you bring Severus?"

The man made an angry grimace and, not so willingly, left the house.

It wasn't fair. I also wanted to leave.

"Who are you" I finally asked the old man, trying to hold his glance.

"Albus Dumbledore, Director of School of Witchcraft and Wizardry" he answered calmly and he sat on the couch.

Now he really had made me angry. Does no one take things seriously, not even at a time like this? I think I put a disgusting face.

"Look, I don't feel like someone pulls my leg, so…"

Then, with a very unpleasant noise, Sirius and another guy –Severus, I guessed– appeared in the room out of nowhere. Yippee! Hooray to the world of fairies and witches! What the hell had just happened? I thought I was loosing my mind, so I decided not to think about it, maybe that'd keep me sane.

"Severus…" said Dumbledore. With no need of one more word, the man stepped forward to face me. I wanted to step back, but the wall was there.

He simply stood there staring at my eyes, but I was unable to remove them from their eyes. He looked grim. Dark hair fell on either side of his face, almost to the shoulders, and his skin was pale. But it was his aquiline nose what stood out from his face. He was dressed in black robes and wore a cloak. Where were these people have come from? And what was he doing, staring at my eyes? Suddenly I felt something strange. I felt invaded. My head ached, the nausea increased. If it hadn't been stupid, I would have said that he was… rummaging through my mind.

When I thought that I couldn't bear any longer, he looked away and turned to Dumbledore.

"She says the truth" he said in a melodious, paused voice. "She has seen Bellatrix and Greyback arguing about something related to the Dark Lord in a dream. The memories are obviously nebulous, but it is a premonitory dream. And it is not the first one" he added. I felt abused and humiliated. How, just… how…?

"Premonitions…" murmured Dumbledore. "Yes, it is something curious among the _muggles_…"

"Erase her mind, Albus" said the one of the eye in a bad mood.

"What if she's got valuable information?" asked Sirius.

"You've already heard Severus" said the black man appearing again. "The memories are fuzzy." Waving a stick in his hand, he murmured something and there was a shining that wiped out the cracks in my semi-destroyed walls. I watched in disbelief.

"But, what if…?" started Sirius. Suddenly, he seemed to see something, and ran towards the bathroom door, that was semi-open. "Shit, _Wormtail_!" I gave a start, scared, and I turned towards the bathroom to see what was happening.

There was a bang and a noise similar to the one that Sirius and Severus had made when they hade come out of nowhere. The man came back, he was furious.

"He's gone… damn it… he was listening. Coward…"

"Erase her memory, Albus!" insisted the impatient guy, walking around the room while the black man fixed all the broken stuff by using… _magic_?

"And let her to be killed, Mad-eye?" reproached Sirius. Kill me? What was he talking about? Who? "_Wormtail_ has heard it all! Do you really think that he's not gonna tell his Dark Lord or my insane cousin?"

"This changes everything, indeed" mused Albus, quietly, though there was seriousness in his words. After resting in silence for a few minutes the old man turned towards me with too much pity on his eyes. It really worried me. "I'm sorry darling, we are not going to erase your mind…" he said. I felt at ease. Why was he apologizing? "… you'll have to come with us if you want to be alive".

I gulped. What would have crossed my mind when I complained about my boring life?

"This is not serious."

"Please…" Albus' voice put me under pressure. What was I gonna do? Was it serious? _If this is a reality show, someone is gonna suffer SO much…_

"Okay" I accepted. It was better to play along, right?

"Let's go outside" said Sirius. "It'd be better not to vanish with her, she's not actually in a nice state, and we don't want unexpected partitions… An invisibility spell will do, so the _muggles_ won't suspect a thing."

"Invisibility spell?" I said sarcastically, I couldn't help myself to hide my bad mood. "What are we gonna do, riding on _flying broomsticks_?"

Sirius and Dumbledore looked each other in an awkward moment. Severus –who had remained impassive till then – drew a cynical half-smile. _Oh, no. No, please. I was kidding…_

_That's it!_

**_~Miss Jemand._**


	3. 2 The Order of the What?

First off, sorry for this huge delay! I was looking for a BetaReader and it was soooooo hard... I actually didn't find one... till I met the lovely G**.D. Beans**, well, BetaGina, as I like to call her :) She offered herself to help me correcting my chapters 'cause, as you know, I'm Spanish and my English sometimes is quite messy. Thanks, thanks, thanks so much, Gina. And I also have to thank **CeresMaria**, who helped me with my mistakes till I found my lovely Beta ^^

Anyway, here it is... Chapter 2. I hope you like it~!

* * *

_**Chapter 2. The Order of the **_**What**_**?**_

…Well, it wasn't a joke. _Flying broomsticks_. Why did everything have to be so… _obvious_? That was what I was thinking while Mad-Eye, whose nickname didn't leave so much to the imagination, hit my head with a wand –because that stick was a wand, wasn't it?

"Ouch!" I complained, upset. But I suddenly shut up when a strange and tickling feeling ran through my body, just like a shiver, as if I'd bitten an ice cream.

"Now you're officially invisible to muggles like you," he said reluctant and impatient. Didn't that man ever relax? Stress is not healthy at all.

"What's a _muggle_?" I asked while I checked my arms and feet. I –that I was supposed to be one of those muggles – still saw them there… were they fooling me?

"A muggle is a non-magical person." explained Sirius, and then he invited me to get out of my apartment. I hesitated a bit before following him.

It was pretty cold outside. Especially when I realized that my clothes hadn't miraculously changed; I was still wearing my pink bear-patterned pyjamas. However I was too busy with other thoughts to feel ashamed of it. I saw that the man with the Abu-hat was the last one that got out of the apartment.

"Kingsley, have you dealt with the neighbours…?" asked Albus Dumbledore so calmly. The man nodded and the old man turned towards us. He raised a hand and three broomsticks appeared out of nowhere, airborne. "Alastor, Severus, Sirius. We are meeting at Grimmauld Place in an hour; there are still issues to be settled. If it's not too much, I'd be so pleased that you join me."

"Of course, Albus." he agreed.

"Oh, I almost forgot…" said Dumbledore, waving his wand one more time. One of my travel bags appeared in front of him. Judging by its appearance, someone had already packed it. "Sirius, would you…?"

He nodded quickly and took my bag.

"In an hour, at Grimmauld Place." he repeated, getting on one of the broomsticks. That gesture reminded me of my childhood games, when we got on broomsticks and acted as if we were flying. I made a grimace and wondered where we were going to end.

"Darling, if you're so kind…" invited me the white-bearded old man, looking at Severus, who was already on the other broomstick.

"Seriously, do I have…?" But I didn't finish the sentence because I heard a snort from Mad-Eye. With a sigh I turned towards the mind-nosy guy.

It was awkward. I hadn't gotten on a broomstick since I was six. I inhaled and then exhaled, wondering why this didn't have happened to my neighbour instead of me. Damn lucky… then I sat down after Severus. It was curious: I thought that when I sat down, the broomstick would fall under the weight of another person; but it didn't, it stood there, quietly in the air. My feet almost hung. Which would be the worst part? Getting on a flying broomstick or putting my arms around a man that had just stuck his nose –and never better said– inside my mind? I can assure you that both parts were equally unpleasant, but I stopped my complaining thoughts soon, when the broom started to rose several feet and my feet – just like a little girl who goes on a swing – hung already too far. _Fuck, oh fuck._

And the damn broomstick kept rising and rising, though slowly. I turned my head down just to see how Dumbledore adopted the size of a Playmobile because of the distance. Then I saw Sirius carrying my package; he was staring at me absent-mindedly, thinking about something. Mad-Eye had already risen and he was the first that left the place in the speed of light. I saw him disappear with eyes wide open, knowing that I was gonna suffer the same fate… and then a voice brought me back to reality.

"I'd really appreciate you to give me permission to breathe…" said Severus with cynicism.

"Yeah, _and_ _falling down_?" I said with indignation, though I gradually loosened the intensity of my embrace.

And, before I could even notice, the broomstick was gone from my street at full speed.

* * *

The landing was even worse. I thought that my stomach was going out through my mouth, and as we landed I got rushed and stumbled, trying to get as far as possible before I vomited. Let's say that it wasn't really… nice to see.

"Fuck…" I sighed, still bent on myself. I tried to stand up but I felt nauseas again and I stood there, quiet, hoping to re-balance my body. Then I heard steps close to me. "I'd appreciate so much that you don't watch me vomiting, if I'm not asking too much…" I muttered, nauseous, trying to impregnate my words with cynicism.

"I have better things to do, I assure you, Miss Taylor…" he said, right behind me, so calmly. "Howev…"

"Oh, don't screw with me," I nearly begged, trying to avoid that he made one of those cynic comments. I breathed deeply a few times before I decided that I was ready to stand up. "And don't call me _Miss_."

Once I re-balanced my body, I stretched my back and my arms, checking that everything was in place. I drew back the hair off my face and rubbed my eyes wearily. I was gutted.

"Where is Sirius?" I asked, suddenly remembering my package.

The mind-nosy guy cocked his head pointing two figures standing on the other side of the street and, grabbing the broomstick, started walking towards them. I hurried to follow him, awkwardly.

"How was your trip?" asked Sirius, though he swallowed his words when he saw the nauseating colour of my skin and he drew a pitiful smile. "Don't worry; no more broomsticks."

"Excuse me if I don't believe a word that you say," I said, tired. "It's nothing personal."

"Stop that blabbering and just let's get into the house before the charm effect ends." Growled Mad-Eye making his way towards the gate of a house. It surprised me because the house was decorated with Christmas lights. Curious, I wondered if we were going to stay there. It seemed even homey.

But my disappointment –that mixed with awe – was visible when Mad-Eye himself took his wand and hit a few bricks of the gate with it. In front of my eyes, the houses started to separate slowly, making a strange noise, as if they were rusty, to make way for a new house that rested between them. It looked grim and abandoned.

"What's this, the _Hotel of the Panic_?" I muttered in a low voice.

"You're not so mistaken, actually" said Sirius with a half smile as he opened the gate. "It's my home."

And, indeed, I wasn't actually mistaken. As soon as I crossed the threshold, a shrill voice that seemed to come from a wall started yelling at us as if the apocalypse had arrived.

_-A _MUGGLE_! A _MUGGLE_! YOU ARE NOT HAPPY ENOUGH WHEN YOU FILL MY HOUSE WITH ALL THOSE BLOOD TRAITORS; YOU HAVE TO BRING HERE THAT SCUM! IN MY HOUSE! IN MY OWN HOUSE! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE, YOU BLOOD TRAITO…!_

"Who is that…?" I asked, eyes wide open, hiding behind Sirius.

"Oh, she's my dear mother." He said as if he didn't even hear the yelling. I opened my eyes even wider –if that was possible – and I looked for the nasty-tempered woman, but I couldn't find her, and her voice was still calling me names and insulting Sirius too. 'Till I found that face in the corridor. But… it was a picture.

"That picture is your mum." I didn't even ask. It was simply an affirmation. I must have been really traumatized, because it didn't even surprise me.

"Yes, it is. Well, it's just a portrait." Explained the man, shrugging as we went ahead.

"And it speaks." I pointed out.

"Mhm."

"And it moves."

"Yes."

"And it insults us."

"Unfortunately, it does."

"Charming." I sighed when the door at the end of the corridor opened.

A red-headed, chubby woman walked quickly towards us.

"Sirius! Alastor! Severus!" she said, worried. "We've received a message from Dumbledore…!" Then she looked at me with pity in her eyes. "Oh, poor thing… poor girl, come, come with me; honey, are you hungry?"

She grabbed my arm, and I ended sitting on a chair, in a very grim kitchen, while the unknown woman rummaged in the cupboards.

"What's your name, dear?" she asked with a very mother-like voice.

"Elizabeth," I said without moving an inch as I observed her fast movements; she was cooking something, and helping herself with that wand she carried.

Finally she turned to me; she looked more relaxed.

"I'm sorry," she excused herself and the she sat in front of me and looked me from head to feet. "I'm Molly. Oh, honey, you have a wound on your head, let me fix that…" Yeah, it was true, a small piece of wood had hit my head, but the stress had made me forget it.

I let her do; I was too tired to negotiate. Soon something began to smell really good, and Molly returned to the kitchen to end whatever she was cooking. She served it on a plate; it was soup. At least muggles and wizards ate the same food; what a relief…

"Here, honey, triton soup."

_Okay, I said nothing_.

The woman watched me eat. I don't know why, but it wasn't awkward. I supposed that I looked pitiful: dishevelled, pale, with dark circles around my eyes, a wound on my forehead, dressed in my pink bear-patterned pyjamas and wearing green slippers… if there was a contest called "Muggles in Shock," I insist that I would have won the gold; maybe because I was the only muggle here, who knows. What was I thinking about? I was so tired that even my ramblings had less sense than usual.

When I ended that triton soup –which tasted suspiciously good – I put on a poker face. What was I gonna do now? Molly seemed to read my mind –or she did? – and she got up with a smile.

"Come on, darling." She rounded my waist with one of her chubby arms, as if she was afraid that I could fall down at any time. God, was my face _that_ pathetic? "There's a bathroom upstairs."

* * *

I think that it was the first time that I felt so good after all that mess, when I could have a hot bath and wash my hair. The water turned kinda grey due to all that dust belonging to my destroyed apartment that I had brought with me, and changing my pyjamas for a jersey and some jeans was a great relief. If Heaven exists, I'm sure it's full of hot tubs. Somehow more relaxed, I got out of the bathroom; there was nobody. I went downstairs carefully and started hearing voices that came from a room.

There seemed to be a lot of people inside, and they were arguing. Trying not to make too many noises, I rested my ear on the door.

"_We must do something!_" said Sirius' voice.

"_Yes, but what? Enlighten us, Sirius Black_."

"_Enlightening you? Don't you live in the dungeons?_"

"_Easy…!_"

"_And for how long are we going to continue like this?_"

"_I insist that we should erase her mind, poor thing… It'd be the best for her!_"

"_The Death Eaters, Molly; that filthy Pettigrew rat heard it all about the premonitions… which is something that I don't understand... Why did she see my cousin…?_"

"_Premonitions are uncertain and arbitrary, Sirius…_" said Albus Dumbledore's voice. "_From what we know now, all we can do is…_"

And just when I was going listen to those last words, I heard a noise behind me and my stomach gave a terrible start when I saw a little creature, half meter tall, with huge ears and an extremely long, big nose.

"_AAAAAAAAAAGH!_" I screamed, scared, pushing the door unconsciously and appearing in the right middle of the room. Some of the people that were inside got up suddenly and they even took out their wands.

"Honey!" exclaimed Molly Weasley, surprised and worried.

"Wha-wha-what's _that_?" It was the only thing I could say, pointing the little creature with a trembling hand.

"_Aaaah_, now they insult Kreacher…" grumbled the little, ugly creature as it disappeared along the corridor. "Yes, always Kreacher. Oh, yes, since those blood traitors arrived to the noble Black's House… a filthy muggle in the noble Black's House… insulting old, old Kreacher… ah… if my good Mistress knew… if Mrs. Black knew…"

"It's Kreacher, our house-elf." said Sirius with disgust as he stared at the humanoid.

"Oh." I said; I hadn't understood a thing, but I decided not to ask.

After that, there was an awkward silence –too long, because all they were staring at me. Even Mad-Eye's eye –I know that sounds stupidly redundant – had stopped a while just to focus on me.

There were some people I knew apart from Mad-Eye: Albus Dumbledore, the old man of the white beard; Severus Snape, the minds-nosy dressed in black; Sirius, the one with the badass mom; Kingsley, the man with the cute hat; and Molly Weasley. But there were also three people that I couldn't recognize: a redhead man with a bald spot on the top of his head; a pale, messy man that was kinda serious; and a girl more less of my age –what actually surprised me – and she had pink hair.

"Elizabeth…" said Albus, standing up and staying next to me. "I introduce you the members of the Order of the Phoenix. Well, some members are actually missing today, but anyway…"

"The Order of the _what_? The Phoenix?" I repeated, rising my eyebrows.

"Indeed." Continued the old man with that calm halo around him. "I suppose that you don't know Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks and Arthur Weasley."

"My pleasure, my pleasure." Said Molly's husband, getting up suddenly and drawing a big smile on his freckled face. "I'm so pleased to meet you!"

"Mr. Wealsey loves muggles." explained Dumbledore. "He works in the Ministry of Magic, in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office."

Oh, so there also was a parallel ministry. This was too big for me. As Mr. Weasley shook my hand cheerfully, I realized that how serious the issue was. I couldn't go back home. I couldn't live as a normal person again, now that I knew about the existence of that slippery and surreal… parallel universe. Not any more. Because I had flight on a flying broomstick and I had puked. Because I was inside a house that had been born between two other houses as if it was a plant.

"So what about me?" I asked out loud in a clear voice. I know, it sounded too blunt and clear-cut, but how would you feel if you were in a house whose portraits insulted you, where strange long-nosed beings appear talking about themselves using third-person, and you had just had a triton soup?

Well then, that's how I felt.

"It is safer to remain here until further notice." Answered Dumbledore, rummaging absent-mindedly in his pockets till he got a candy.

I swallowed; I wasn't going to argue. At least, not now. I took that they were _informative_ now to ask some more questions.

"What are the Death Eaters?"

"They're dark wizards." explained Remus Lupin, the pale, messy man. His voice was deep and calm. "They obey the Dark Lord."

"And what were they doing in my house?"

"It was accident and chance." Kinglsey seemed to feel guilty for ruining my life.

"And who is the Dark Lord?" I had to ask about it, right?

There was silence, and I supposed I had stepped on dangerous ground.

"That's a too long of a story for now…" apologized Dumbledore.

Molly checked the clock.

"Merlin's beard, it's almost 6 o'clock in the morning!" she said almost terrified. _Merlin's beard? No, please, don't tell me that Merlin also exists…_ "Everybody goes to bed right now, this poor girl needs to rest!"

Resigned as when I practice my pacifist policy with my sofa, I nodded and sighed. Obviously I needed some sleep. As I got out of the room, I heard Kinglsey and Mr. Weasley talking in a low voice.

"… yes, the reform has taken place in all the Departments of the Ministry…" said Molly's husband.

Then I had the same feeling you get when you have a déjà vu. Departments of the Ministry… Departments of the Ministry… Departments of the Min… _the Department of Mysteries_!

"What's inside of the Department of Mysteries?" I asked suddenly, and they stared at me again as if I was a freak.

"As Molly has well said, everybody to bed now," interrupted Dumbledore, serenely, but I could see a very well dissimulated seriousness in his eyes; that seriousness that some others had problems to hide.

Have I gone insane? –I thought as I went upstairs and I settled into a guest room that they have offered me. Sane or insane, things weren't going right. _Why the fuck should I have spoken about my bloody premonitory dream…?_

* * *

That's it! :)

**_~Miss Jemand._**


	4. 3 My tragicomedy

**__**First things first... hi! I'm sorry I've been so... invisible. My life's been crazy and all that jazz. Seems like I'm back. I won't promise to be a steady writer, or not to disappear again... but I want to end this story, even if it takes me ages. I already have the ending in my head and I don't wanna let it unfinished!

Also, well, forgive my pitiful English. My beta-reader somehow abandoned, but I think I can try to improve on my own, so... yeah ^^ There you go!

* * *

_**Chapter 3. My tragicomedy.**_

I'd had a nice night of sleep. At least I couldn't complain about that. I stretched my arms, numb, and I stood up to take a peek at the room I was into; it looked old and blowzy, just like the rest of the house. There were newspaper clippings pinned to the walls. I stared at the pictures. _Oh, they move_. For the first time in my life I stopped and stared at something weird just because I felt curious; no fist-clenching to control my... rage? Badassery? Post-traumatic-shock due to some freaks that said they were wizards and had broken into my house taking me away to save me from dying and dragging me to broom-flying? Whatever, you get what I mean. Or I hope so, at least.

I considered the option of staying inside that room forever, ignoring that some unknown people were waiting for me to wake up just to keep staring at me as if _I_ was the crazy one there. It seemed like a nice option till I heard a noise; _oh, stomach, thou heartless organ..._

_From now on, I hate wooden stairs_, I thought irritated as I walked down the stairs, making them creak annoyingly. That way anybody a mile away-distance would know I was coming.

"Elizabeth?" said Molly's voice from downstairs. See? What I was saying.

"Good morning." I answered with resignation as I finally got downstairs, not really sure about the day being actually 'good'.

The redhead woman was sitting on a sofa, knitting a red jumper. I noticed an embroidered _R_ on it. Who wears that kind of jumpers nowadays? Or maybe wizards were just tacky?

"Good morning." She smiled cheerfully, as if the Christmas Spirit had possessed her. There was still one month left for Christmas… "How are you feeling?"

"Good, I guess." I hesitated, wondering if it was a tricky question. My stomach complained once again, very timely.

"Oh, sure, you must be hungry…" Molly stood up quickly and strode to the kitchen. "I'll prepare you something to eat."

"What time is it?"

"3 p.m."

I almost jumped.

"_That late_…?"

A few minutes later she came back carrying a tray with stuff for me to eat. Before I ate it, though, I stared at it skeptically, full of suspicion. No, there were no newts. It was… spaghetti. And that thing over there looked like bread. With jam. _Strawberry jam_. Really…? When I felt the amused woman's glance on me, I stopped staring at the food as though it was a harmful weapon and I started eating it. I know it may sound stupid, but sugar softens my mood.

And suddenly I noticed something was missing…

"Where's everybody?" I asked, assuming the peace and the silence were something paranormal in that place.

"Oh, well, Arthur and Kingsley are working in the Ministry, of course." She said casually, as though I knew that already. "Sirius went out for a walk, and Dumbledore and Snape are working too…"

"Dumbledore told me he's the principal of a college or something like that, right?"

"Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." She smiled. "Four of my children are studying there for now." _Four? Holy crap._

"And what about the mad-eye guy? And that couple, the one with the pink hair?" I asked. It was really weird to see that house so empty after last night.

"Well, those people have homes too." She chuckled. "You don't want them to stay the whole day here, do you?"

"No, most certainly not." I sighed, annoyed. Dumbledore was gone, and I knew he was the boss there. If he wasn't around, nobody would explain a thing to me. That pissed me off. How long would it take for him to come back?

I started feeling stressed, I needed some fresh air. I drew closer to the window and noticed it was an unusual, pretty day for the country I was in. Assuming that I was still in England, right?

I opened the window and lidded my eyes swiftly, enjoying the silence of a lonely sunbeam… till a shadow covered it. I opened my eyes wide as can be right in time to see a huge owl diving into the house.

"Molly! Molly, Molly, an owl!" I screamed, stressed, shaking my arms to make the bird go away. _What the hell was an owl doing there? _"I didn't mean to let it in, it just got in at the speed of light…! Shoo, shoo, hell-bird! Out!"

"No, no, sweetheart! It brings us the post!" She stopped me, smiling with concern. I felt like an idiot. Why didn't they just send letters using a _muggle_ post office? Oh, no. I just used the word _muggle_. This is starting to be seriously contagious…

"Sure… the _post_, yeah." I bowed my eyebrows reluctantly, and flopped on my chair again.

While the woman checked the letters, I tapped my fingers on the table. I needed to do something…; else, I would end up killing someone.

"I'm going out." I declared, though Molly rose her eyes at me and stared, worried. "'Cause I'm allowed to go out, right?" Well, I hadn't discarded the option of being kidnapped by psycho killers… "Oh, come on, I have nowhere to go. I'll stay right on the porch."

"Well, yes… sure, of course." She nodded, softhearted.

No need of hearing those words twice. I got out of there quickly to avoid hearing the yelling of that old, harpy-like woman from the portrait, Sirius' mother. I think I had never heard the word "thrash" so many times in the same sentence. I also have to confess that I almost fled out of that house at full speed because I didn't want to face that rancorous thing… hmm… humanoid… _elf_?

The fresh air had a wonderful effect on me. I sat on the floor and spent about half an hour there… until I heard a noise. Jumping, I watched a big, black dog getting into the porch, wiggling its tail. Its hair was a mess, it almost asked for a haircut.

"Hey, buddy." I greeted it, feeling relieved by the simple fact of seeing something as normal as a dog. It wiggled its tail even faster and it made me smile. "How you doing? Are you lost, too?"

_Did I expect it to answer back? It was a dog._

"Know what? If I were you, I'd keep away from this house…" I went on, brushing a flock of hair off its eyes and petting its head. "Strange people live here, so better be careful… at least you have an option, don't you? Getting out of here, going back home… if you've got one, of course... seems like I don't anymore."

The animal's eyes were filled with intelligence; it was listening to me carefully.

"I wonder what's in your mind." I said out loud. "You know? I know a guy who reads minds. I wonder if he can do that to dogs too…"

I stood there for a while, silent; fifteen minutes later the dog with the messy hair went away, leaving me alone again. It was chilly now, so I got into the house and ran along the corridors not to hear the screaming, crazy, old bitch from the portrait. Why had they put her in the hall? To warmly receive all the guests?

* * *

It was a quite long afternoon. I didn't feel like exploring the house, who knew what kind of freaky things could I find in its rooms? I swear I had seen something moving in the attic... So, to say it politely, I got fucking bored. I slightly hoped that the old, crazy chap with the longest beard I'd ever seen would appear again, or maybe just that Sirius would come back from his walk... it was taking him so long, by the way.

"I'm going to take the rubbish out." Molly announced, gleefully. "Would you like to join me?"

Since I supposed wizards don't have the stupid need of going out to get rid of their rubbish, I considered it as an invitation to go for a walk. This way, nodding, I put on my coat and joined her in silence.

"How old are you?" She asked me, probably to break the ice.

"26." _Yeah, I'm that dry, I'm sorry._

"Oh, almost like Bill and Charlie, my eldest sons..." She smiled. "Bill works in Gringotts, the wizard bank, undoing curses in the pyramids, and Charlie works with dragons in Romania."

I was about to scream «_DRAGONS?_ » but I bit my tongue.

"What about you, do you have a job?"

"Hmmm… yeah. As… librarian."

"Oh, a _muggle_ library! Wait till Arthur hears about it…" What was so surprising about it? Her sons fought mummies and dragons. _Mummies and dragons. Holy fuck, have we gone insane?_

"Oh."

We got rid of the rubbish and walked straight back to the house. It was then when I noticed the same dog from before in the distance, approaching the house. And what I saw next, when we drew closer, took my breath away. The dog disappeared and, where it should have been meant to be, a human shape walked across the entrance. I could sense Molly's tension.

"You're fucking kidding me…" I mumbled.

I hurried into the porch right in time to see Sirius buttoning his coat.

"You're fucking kidding me." I repeated.

"My, I thought you were home…" He said, looking at me as if trying to excuse himself.

"Tell me you're not the bloody dog." My voice lacked of emotion.

There was silence.

"I… am?"

"… you big jackass." I said, simply.

What came next happened too fast. Hadn't I wanted to kill him, I would have stood frozen there, traumatized. But I was too angry that I didn't even wonder how the hell a guy could turn into a dog; I just rushed after him, and he shape-shifted again, slithering into the house on all fours.

My screaming, her mother's, the ragged elf complaining out loud about the racket and the echo of my steps on the wooden floor turned out into a chaos.

"You asshole! Come here!" I yelled, dodging furniture as I ran. Such was my commotion that I didn't realize there was someone else in the kitchen. "You son of a… son of a dog!" I shouted right when I walked into a tall, dark figure and the dog took advantage of it to finally get rid of me.

I stepped back, surprised. Severus was almost towering above me, and I won't say he wasn't surprised too.

"Fu…! Sorry!" I apologized, biting my lower lip. I didn't have time to feel like an idiot because I was too focused on finding Sirius. Dammit, he was gone…

"Oh, I see you can be polite too." He said, straightening the wrinkles from his black robe.

"I can, but can you?" I snapped, irritated. I raised my eyes to find him trying to suppress an ironical smile; I realized, then, the reason of that smile. _Son of a dog_. How 'witty' my comment had been.

Gutted, I let myself fall onto the sofa. I'd had enough. I was fed up from being attacked by owls and seeing people turning into things. My head hurt. I closed my eyes and I had the feeling I was about to cry.

"Severus, is Dumbledore here?" I asked trying to sound steady.

Nonetheless, he didn't even need to answer.

"I see you've had a little misadventure regarding to animagi." The old man said, grinning. I opened my eyes and saw her turquoise robes.

"No clue what you're talking about, but I guess so." I sighed, sitting up.

Almost all the people that had been there the night before came back that night for dinner. I spent my time glaring at Sirius as I ate. I sat next to Severus, which made the evening even more awkward. It's a pretty funny feeling to sit next to a guy who has read your mind, a guy you've nearly suffocated while flying on a broomstick, a guy you almost throw to the ground while trying to chase a… dog… person. If we had been talking about a nice guy, I wouldn't had felt that bad… but, guess what? It was _not_ the case.

Well, forgetting about all that jazz, I finally could demand my rights so, skipping all the beating around the bush, I spoke.

"Who's the Dark Lord?" Mr. Weasley almost choked.

"Very… timely." Severus said in a low voice, mocking my rotundity.

There was no choice then, and I found myself listening to a story that seemed taken from a fairytale. In the beginning Dumbledore was the only one talking, but as the story went on Molly, Arthur, Kingsley —and even Sirius, as if he had forgotten what had happened before— joined his narration. The only one who remained silent was Severus.

Apparently there had been a holocaust in their wizarding world. A very powerful wizard had risen against the half-bloods and the _muggles_.

"This is just like Hitler and the Aryan race, then…" I murmured pretty interested, as I heard their words. It really sounded like a serious issue.

After a few minutes we reached the part of _The Boy Who Lived_, and then the disappearance of He-who-must-not-be-named. It seemed a very stupid way to call him, but even wizards have their quirks, I guess. It was like an intensive, surreal History class. In the end, after a few hours, we got to the current part of the story: Voldemort's encounters with that Harry Potter boy and, what's worse, his comeback.

"And then… those guys I saw… were his followers?" I asked thoughtfully when the story concluded. It was difficult to digest all that information, but I had no choice. "That's why my dream is so important?"

Arthur nodded.

"After You-know-who's comeback, there has been suspicious activity among the Death Eaters. We think He's after something, though we really don't know what it is."

"I don't get it." I shook my head. "I usually dream about normal things. Why did I dream about people I don't even know?"

"Probably because they'd jump into your life a little later." Explained Dumbledore calmly, pouring some tea in his cup.

"Why do they wanna kill me?" It sounded really odd when I heard myself asking that question.

"Because if what you dreamt was crucial, they'll try everything to keep us from knowing it." It was Kingsley's voice who answered, serious. It was all so weird...

"I wish I could be useful." I sighed, fiddling with the spoon absentmindedly. "But it was just a dream. It's difficult to remember it clearly, it becomes blurrier every day… and I can't get into my own brain and see what's inside, so..." Suddenly, I gulped. _No, no, no. Not again, no way._ It was then when I understood the importance of Severus' presence there.

"You understand it, don't you?" Sirius inquired.

"Yeah." I said dryly, irritated, and I hid my face between my arms, leaning my forehead on the edge of the table.

* * *

"Can you read dogs' minds?" I asked reluctantly.

They had left us alone in the living room, probably just not to get me more irritated than I already was. As he placed a chair in front of me, I wondered how the hell I had gotten into that situation; I felt like the main character of a surreal, contemporary play; a circus' show.

"What'd be the use?" He answered in a numb voice as he took out his wand. "A string of disjointed thoughts guided by the most basic instincts wouldn't be… useful."

"I guess you're right." I growled, finally looking at his face.

I could observe him more closely then. The truth is that he was really pale. And he needed to change his current shampoo. I couldn't help but to notice his aquiline nose; if my Australian cousin had been there with me, she'd had die from a heart-attack. She loves noses with… how does she call them again? With _personality_. I call them big noses instead; no need of embroidering the truth. However, what caught my attention were his eyes —they were dark and deep, and when I stared into them I felt like I was about to fall in a bottomless pit. Well, I don't know if it was because of their depth, or because of the need of visual contact to read somebody's mind and…

"_Legeremens_."

Hadn't I felt an invisible hand rummaging into my brain and memories here and there, I would have remarked that was Latin. It was terribly bothersome. I knew what he was seeing; it was as though he was leafing through a mental photo album at full speed. _The library… home… my family… my dreams…_

"Enough!" I whimpered, turning my head away brusquely. Everything stopped so suddenly and the sharp twinge in my head ceased. I leaned my forehead on both hands, panting. "I think I'm gonna throw up…"

Luckily, I didn't, and I saved a second vomit-experience with Severus.

We stood there for a while, silently, waiting for me to go steady again so I wouldn't puke my dinner. My head hurt like hell.

"Have… have you seen something?" I mumbled; my eyes were still fixed on the ground, my head was still leaning on my hands. I must have looked really deplorable because Severus' voice didn't sound too annoying.

"It is all quite blurry."

"Well, I told you so." I sighed, trying to stand up. "It's a dream…"

It was so stupid of me to try such a sudden movement. I had a brownout and I fell noisily to the ground. And then? Darkness, drum roll, the curtain falls.

* * *

End of the 3rd chapter!

_**~Miss Jemand.**_


	5. 4 Change of air

Here's the fourth chapter! I hope it doesn't have a bunch of mistakes :S Aaaanyway... here you are!

* * *

_**Chapter 4. Change of air**_

The following days passed by really slowly. It was difficult to get used to see stuff floating in the air, or to be greeted by the portraits every morning...

It snowed; it was dead-cold outside, so I just had to stay indoors in that _Horror Hotel_. At least, I didn't scream anymore when walking into Kreacher along the corridors and my brain had come up with a way to muffle Mrs. Black's lovely, shrieking voice. The house was empty most of the time: Mr Weasley and Kingsley went to the Ministry while the nutty, old man and the _oh-so-nice_ Mr. Mind-digger were in... _Hobarts_? Whatever, the point is that they weren't around.

This way, there were just Mrs Weasley, Sirius and me left. Well, at least dumbass Sirius counted as two people, since he sometimes felt like turning into a dog.

My hobbies weren't really varied; I liked to lean my nose against the cold windows and watch the snow falling. I know, it's quite pathetic. I occasionally played chess with Sirius, even though it was frustrating: it wasn't ordinary chess... but _magic_ chess. The only difference was that you could command your pieces what to do, and when you took a piece from the other player... well, your piece literally kicked the other piece's ass. The funniest thing about it all is that, since I was a _muggle_, the chess set wouldn't obey me at all.

Besides, guess what? Dumbledore hadn't come around again and, do you know what that meant? That I didn't know anything new. Nobody had asked me anything, not even Severus had gotten his nose into my brain again. They hadn't even explained to me what the Ministry of Mysteries was; whenever Arthur was around and sensed I was about to ask, he would just change the subject of our conversation or he'd say he 'had to oh-so-timely leave'.

I felt stupid, and not only because I didn't know anything new, but because I had no fucking clue about anything related to the damn wizarding world. And, I don't know if you remember it, but I being humiliated really pisses me off.

"Hey Sirius" I had asked him once, when we were leafing through _The Daily Prophet_, which couldn't be an ordinary newspaper at all, of course, because its pictures moved. "Who did you tell that lived in the dungeons?"

"_Snivell_… Snape." He answered, not even rising his eyes from the newspaper, reading something about Harry potter. In my free time —I mean, always— he had told me a drama-story about him being _The Boy Who Lived_'s godfather and a prison worse than Guantanamo itself called Azkaban.

"And why is that?" I asked, interested, trying to walk into a wizard's shoes for the first time in my life. "Is Severus a vampire?"

The only thing I got as an answer was Sirius' laughter; feeling my assassin glare, though, he shook his head as he tried not to laugh again. What was so funny about it?

"Vampires don't exist, then?"

"Of course they do." He said, making me feel even worse.

See? That's the kind of things that kill my nerves: not knowing shit. Now that I was forced to live in that crazy world of nonsense, I didn't want to sound like an illiterate… and, since people seemed to avoid me blatantly every time I wanted to ask anything, I couldn't help myself_. Bloody Dumbledore, where the hell are you?_

* * *

Regarding my emotional situation, well… everything irritated me, I even seemed bipolar. I was angry at everyone, even if they weren't the ones to blame… but I needed to blame it on someone! And hey, if their crazy, magical world hadn't existed, I would be having a perfectly normal life, right?

I'm not a crybaby, I must say. Even though I cried once when I knew nobody was watching, it had been after kicking an armchair, so I'm not sure if it was actually because of the pain; anyway, a portrait trying to make me feel better didn't help at all.

What everyone would have expected is that, after some time, I would have gotten used to the atmosphere; the resignation would have turned into habit and acceptation. But, since I'm never able to sit still, I felt more and more stressed as the days went by. I would end up killing somebody… maybe not by using deadly magic, but probably sticking a wand in somebody's eye —all in all, it was just a damn stick, wasn't it?

The thing is that, one week later, Dumbledore visited us again, this time without his Severus-puppy after him. Call me an idiot, but I felt happy to see him; his appearance meant change.

"Good afternoon, Elizabeth." He said cheerfully, as intriguingly calm as usual after I had screamed, scared by his sudden apparition. "I see you don't lack any limb, you're just the way I left you."

"Good afternoon." I said, dully. Seeing him cheered me up, but I wasn't in the mood for jokes either…

Molly hurried downstairs quickly and a big, dishevelled dog, who had been messing around the sofa, joined us too.

To my great disappointment, Albus hadn't come around to see me. Just like a childish, sulky kid, I sat on the sofa and put on my worst face. Since I didn't understand anything they were talking about, I decided I didn't care and I just got out of that room. I looked for a book to read, but I had already read them all… I walked in circles, from here to there, not knowing what to do, as I watched Kreacher sweeping. Wasn't it a little bit old-fashioned to own slaves? Perhaps the elves wouldn't demand their rights?

I don't know how many times I yawned; by the fifteenth time I lost count. Once in a while I walked across the living room to check the kitchen and I saw how Dumbledore kept talking about insubstantial stuff. _Guess who's gonna kill someone if nothing new happens soon?_

And before I could even realize, Dumbledore was gone again.

I barely ate that night; I didn't even stay till late chatting with Sirius about meaningless things.

I just got into my bed, covered myself to my eyebrows and, burying my face into the pillow, I screamed.

* * *

The following day was Saturday: breakfast, boredom, lunch, boredom, chess, dinner, boredom. And the following Sunday? Breakfast, boredom, lunch, boredom, fight with Sirius, dinner, boredom. And on Monday? Well, everything started as usual: breakfast, boredom, lunch, boredom… but then there was neither fight nor chess, but a different atmosphere.

I was lazing about the sofa, listening to corny _muggle_ music, as Sirius said; I was almost asleep. However, my spidey sense tingled and I noticed suspicious activity in the house. I rose my eyes to check if Kreacher was around or to see if a big, black dog was stalking be behind the sofa… but there was nobody there. I removed my headphones and it was then when I was able to hear some voices. Molly was speaking too quietly.

As it seemed to have become my new hobby, I put my ear up against the door to listen carefully. There was activity in the corridor.

"_Yes, it will be the best…"_ Molly said_. "She's been so low; this can't go on like this…"_

Oh, no, they're gonna erase my mind. I felt as though a cold fist grabbed my stomach with cruelty and my heartbeats rushed like hell. What if it was true? What was I gonna do?

"_Don't you think it's a little hasty?"_ Sirius said.

"_If Albus has suggested it… besides, she'll have more freedom there… and, if it happens again…"_

I felt like I was missing something important. They weren't going to erase my mind, or it seemed so. _There_, where?

"_When are they coming?"_

"_Tonight, dinner time."_

I heard steps close to the door and I rushed towards my room, quickly. What did they mean with that?

I spent the following hours stuck in there; if I had walked into anybody, they would know I had been listening just because of my face.

"This sucks." I complained with a sigh as I peered at the clock.

"Not really, it could be worse." Said the portrait that had tried to comfort me a few days ago.

"Stop getting into my monologues for good!" I snapped, throwing a rubber at it.

"Why, it's frustrating to hear someone talking alone and not being able to reply back. Moreover, you won't ever stop complaining..." It whined, indignant.

"I can draw a pretty moustache on you, you know?" I threatened it as I flopped on the bed. "I have a permanent marker."

That seemed to work because the little man vanished from the portrait and I didn't see him again.

And so the night arrived, and with it, the stopper of the monotony.

The tingling sound of cutlery was the only thing that could be heard during dinner due to the silence. I could barely eat, anyway.

"See, Elizabeth..." Molly started, not really knowing how to begin. "It's normal that, being locked up here… in this routine, not being able to go out… well, that you feel irritated. It's comprehensible, and I wouldn't want you to… well, if you were my daughter, I wouldn't want to see you like this… so, for this reason, Dumbledore has suggested us to… eh…"

"A change of air." Summarized Sirius.

"What do you mean?" I asked, bowing my eyebrows. "I'm moving again?"

"Yes, well… something like that…"

_Something like that?_ I tried to change my point of view.

"Do I have a choice?"

Sirius and Molly looked at each other. _Okay, I don't._

"_Who_ has chosen for me?"

"Well, Dumbledore has…"

_Why, of course, that nutty-ass old man; who else?_

"My luggage's already been prepared, right?" It really wasn't a question.

Before they could even answer, _The Prom Queen_ apparated in the middle of the kitchen and my fork fell down to the floor. I would never get used to that. Period.

"Good evening." Albus Dumbledore greeted charismatically and casually.

"Good evening." I growled.

"Are you done with eating? Are you ready?"

"I haven't eaten too much, anyway..." I shrugged.

"Better yet."

I didn't understand the meaning of those last words.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Molly, would you please bring me her luggage?"

She waved her wand and suddenly my bags were there. Totally practical, but yet creepy.

Dumbledore grabbed my bags with one hand.

"Where are we going?" I claimed again, this time louder.

"Grab my arm and don't let go of it, Elizabeth." He ordered to me.

"But..." I swallowed my own words and obeyed. What else could I do?

"Molly, Sirius…" It sounded like a farewell. _What? Weren't we at least getting out of the house? No, wait a sec, were we going to…?_

"No flying broomsticks this time, right?" I mused, gulping.

"Most certainly not."

And then there was darkness, and my feet lost contact with the floor, and I felt a horrible pressure in my head, and I stood breathless, and I spun out of control, and I lost the notion of time or space, and I closed my eyes to make it stop... and it stopped.

The grass caressed my shoes and the dampness soaked my bones; I felt a little old when I realized my body was no longer ready for that kind of stuff. Finally understanding Dumbledore's words, I ran away from him and vomited, being grateful for not having eaten much for dinner. I hadn't vomited that much since I had been through an intestinal flu a few years ago...

The sky was pitch-black, but what I saw in front of my eyes really stood out: many lights embroidered a huge castle with tens and tens of towers.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, dear."

* * *

_**~Miss Jemand.**_


	6. 5 One warm welcome

And here's chapter number 5! Thanks for all the love! :D

* * *

_**Chapter 5. One Warm Welcome**_

…_oh, terrific. Out of the frying pan into the fire…!_

That was the only ironical comment that my mind was able to come up with while I raised my head and watched the huge castle, dumbstruck. I was freezing and the swirling wind drove my hair into my mouth and eyes; everything looks wonderful in the movies, but flat reality is just gross and not so delicate.

"Come on, you don't want to turn into an ice floe..." said Albus naturally as he started striding forward_. I don't wanna turn into your bloody puppet, but... voilà!_, I thought as I followed him.

I don't really remember the way we took, everything was dark. And I don't know how, but we got into the castle by walking a long, thin corridor.

Oka, I have to admit it. The school was huge and it was perfectly lit by chandeliers and that thing you would expect from wizards; it was... beautiful. Well, not beautiful. It was nice. No, no, that was too much. Okay, alright…! In that moment I didn't think about that, but it was beautiful. You don't get to see castles like that everyday… and not every day you get to see Death Eaters throwing jinxes in my own house, nor men turning into dogs, nor… _well, we better put a stopper on that, I wouldn't want to worsen my mood_.

I was quite disoriented, but what came next killed me for good. We walked along an enormous room and we found ourselves in front of some stairs. Some stairs? Tens of stairs! And you know what was the best of it all? That they moved. Just like the fucking portraits, they moved too… but not like mechanic stairs —which would have been pretty practical, by the way—, but from one side to another, as if they were bored of the floor they led to. I stood there, frozen in place as that nutty old man kept walking forward.

"You gotta be kidding me." I said, shaking my head too energetically just like a grumpy kid about to start a tantrum. "This is not a fucking amusement park."

Albus stared at me as if he didn't understand my reaction. Seriously, what on earth was wrong with those people's brains?

"In my house, stairs don't move. They behave normally. Still. You know?" I explained calmly, trying not to jump on him to strangle his neck.

"Oh, sure, sure, muggle stairs…" He murmured, nodding with interest, and after that he just started walking again as though he hadn't heard any word I had just spoken.

Almost about to burst into tears because of anger, I hurried to follow him very closely in case I tripped and fell down from one of those crazy stairs. If I was falling down, he would fall with me!

* * *

"Tea?" my particular psycho offered me.

After an episode of survival Indiana Jones' style, climbing evil, capricious stairs and facing empty armors that moved just because every single thing moved in that place, we arrived to Dumbledore's office. Well, if that could be called an 'office', because it looked like a storage room where someone stored all kind of atrezzo from fantasy movies.

There was a big, red birdo in a cage that hung from the ceiling; it was probably a parrot or a macaw. Can macaws be red? Or was it a poll? Who cares, I know nothing about birds, and I dont' like them either.

"Tea?" the old man said again, dragging me back to reality. "An infusion, perhaps?"

"No, no, I would need all the infusions of the world to relax, or a morphine shot." I growled those last words as I sat in front of him. My stomach seemed to have life itself too, just like those stairs or those portraits.

Oh, yeah, the portraits. They were everywhere, not only in that office, but also in the corridors, and they all tried to be nice greeting me and welcoming me… and they just got me to strongly wish I vanished from there. I know, I can be very repellent, but I don't like portraits telling me goodnight.

"Of course, of course…" Dumbledore nodded, looking me through his half-moon shaped glasses. "Well, I guess you want to know why we have brought you here."

"Oh, really…?"

"Sure." Dumbledore smiled; that man was alien to every single bit of sarcasm. "You're in Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for diverse reasons. In first place, because this school is much safer than Grimmauld Place. Besides, if the premonitory dream repeated or became clearer anytime, Severus himself could immed…"

"Albus," A slightly tense voice interrupted from the door. "it's not that I'm irritated by the fact you called me here in the middle of the night, of course, but one of my students has…"

There was silence. Severus Snape, who had just broken into Dumbledore's offica, stopped his sentence just to stare at me in disbelief. He looked _slightly_ surprised.

"I understand." He said, dryly and resigned, stepping forward.

"As I was saying, Elizabeth," Dumbledore went on as though Severus wasn't there. "if you remember the dream or it repeats again, Professor Snape will take care of that immediately."

Snape opened his mouth to speak, but he seemed to decide it was better to keep silent. As Dumbledore twisted a candy wrapper with his long fingers, I tried to assume the words the man had just said. If it was all about Snape being my shadow every single second of my life, it wasn't funny at all. _At all._

"As long as you're here" He went on after a long pause where he seemed to be thinking deeply. "you will stay in the room next to our gatekeeper's, Filch. Your luggage's already there, of course. And, oh, I almost forget… during your stance here, it will be healthier if nobody knows about you."

_He almost forgot? The most important detail? Seriously?_

"What do I do then? Hiding the whole day? Or pretending I'm dumb whenever I'm asked?" Actually those last words were a joke, but they suspiciously sounded like a nice plan to me.

"No, no, of course not." The eccentric headmaster added quickly. "If anybody asks you, you're Charity Burbage's investigation subject, our Muggle Studies professor's.

"What?" _That subject exists…?_ "The labrat of who to do what?"

"Oh, but it's just fictional, so don't worry. Well, I think we can call it a day. I hope you sleep well, darling… Severus, would you please…"

"Sure. But first I'd like to talk to you… in private, Headmaster." Why was he so polite to him when they were in front of me, but talked casually when he thought nobody was around? And why did they want me out? And why hadn't they specified my identity? Damn you, wizards…!

"Elizabeth, if you're so kind to w…"

"Yeah, sure." I said, angrily, standing up suddenly and getting out of there firmly, passing so close to Severus that he had to move aside slightly.

Obviously, as it was my new hobby, I leaned my ear on the door as soon as I got out. I used to despise the people that did that —I actually hated my neighbour because of that reason—, so I felt like an hypocrite… but, holy fuck! I had to get informed.

At first, I didn't hear a thing. Then, the conversation seemed to get rushed, because I was able to hear Severus' voice.

"…_but a muggle in Hogwarts…! … Albus… no, not at all… however…"_

There was a very suspicious silence and I stepped back just in time, because Severus came out of the room to find me away from the door, casually, acting as if I hadn't been doing something questionably ethic.

With a head shake —which I considered rude, because a 'follow me, please' would have been nice—, he indicated me to follow him. And again, back to the corridors… but this time it was worse; just like in jail, when it's time to sleep, the lights were out. Severus raised his wand and the tip of it emitted a dim light as if it was a flashlight_. So practical, these wizards._

As nobody likes to walk silently in the middle of the dark being aware of the presence of armors and other not-identified-wandering things, I tried to start a conversation.

"So you're a teacher." I said, and my voice sounded odd in the middle of that dense silence.

"I am."

Why, I see you're not very conversationalist, huh?

"And you've been teaching here for long?"

"Pretty long." He nodded as we crossed another corridor. "For your information, I'm not bothered by the awkward silences, Miss, so I'd…"

"But I am." I cut him, feeling a little brightened; it was entertaining to find somebody familiar to sarcasm, since it practically was my second mother tongue. "And don't call me _Miss_."

"Well I guess that, after seeing you… vomit, it's not appropriate." He agreed cynically. I grimaced, that had been a punch below the belt. I counterattacked.

"And what subject do you teach? No, let me guess. It has to be something dark. Perhaps something related to dark arts? _Necromancy_?" I pronounced that last Word with strong irony.

"Potions." He answered dryly.

"Fair enough."

Finally, and thanks to Karma, we got to the place meant to be my room and I got rid of Severus without further ado, and so did he. Well, one thing was positive: I didn't like him, and he didn't like me. If he had to keep an eye on me, he'd dodge me as much as possible. And that idea quite pleased me.

My room was small and it was completely carpeted —carpeted? A castle like that one? So homey…— by a very ugly carpet of an undefined colour. I flopped on my bed and...

* * *

...I woke up expecting to see that stupid little man in the portrait of my room, right in Grimmauld Place. When I noticed that the scenery had changed, I jumped and stood there dazzled, on the middle of my bed. Oh, sure. _I was there_.

After dressing up as slow as can be just to gain more time before I had to get out of that room, I found an old, semi-bald man which face seemed frozen in an eternal grimace. A cat with messy hair purred against his legs, classy.

"Taylor?" He said, flatly, with cirrhosical voice.

I nodded, with the stupid feeling of being in a military camp. I had to hold back not to say "Sir, yessir!".

"Follow me." He commanded abruptly as he walked away, limping. The cat hurried after him, and so did I.

"Who are you, sir?" I asked politely. There are some people you must treat politely even if you're in a life or death circumstance.

"Argus Filch, the gatekeeper, and you're a muggle crazy, old Dumbledore has brought to the castle… what for? Hell if I know." He growled quickly. I wasn't mistaken, this man's temper was even worse than mine. "Oh, I don't like the sound of that at all, no, not at all. Come on, hurry up, kid."

"I'm 26." I snapped in a low voice.

"And you wanna know how old am I…?"

I sighed and let him unburden himself. Luckily he would get tired soon.

As the grumpy gatekeeper muttered stuff, I watched how different the corridors were in the light of the day. At night they were scary, but now they were full of people. It was like an anthill of kids in weird school uniforms running here and there, laughing, buzzing, elbowing each other… an irritating, teenage hot spring with sky-high hormones. _Welcome back to high school, Elizabeth_, I thought, annoyed. A flying, little ship made out of paper crossed the air at full speed over Filch's head.

"I've seen you, you filthy, little brat!" He roared, rising his fist in the air in a threatening way.

Wizards or muggles, kids are cut from the same cloth…

Finally, we arrived to a huge room —the biggest I had seen by far— that looked like a dining room.

"This is the Great Hall" remarked Filch as he walked forward.

_Very subtle._

The large, long tables were full of food and, for the first time in a long while, it made my mouth water. I tried to ignore that and I focused on following the gatekeeper until we got to the other side of the room where the teachers seemed to be having breakfast.

"Good morning, good morning" waved Albus Dumbledores, absentmindedly, from the middle of the table. "Take a sit and help yourself, dear" And then he just kept talking to a tall woman whose hair was tied up in a bun.

It turned out that my soul mate was sitting _over there_ too. Was he really gonna be always that close?

"Good morning in the morning" I greeted Severus trying to look a little cheerful as I sat next to him, imitating a TV presenter's voice. "Is this jam?"

"Pumpkin jam" He specified, as sober as usual.

"Yeah" Whatever, after a triton soup, I could cope with anything.

Among that entire racket, nobody seemed to notice my presence; good for me, the least curious people, the easiest for me. But as I was having breakfast and thought about all that, I was so distracted that I didn't notice someone approaching me.

"Ahem." Someone with an irritating, high-pitched voice cleared her throat.

I raised my eyes and found myself in front of a woman dressed completely in pink, whose face resembled to... a toad? Yeah, why not. Her little eyes, bright and sharp, pierced me in an indescribable way, and her lips were curled up into a wide grin that would have won the Nobel Prize to Hypocrisy.

"Can I help you?" I reacted calmly, though the danger alarm had switched on in some point of my brain.

"I don't know why, but we haven't been introduced yet and I was wondering who you are... miss." Obviously, she was a teacher. And a motherfucker one, these ones that pretend to be nice and then stab your back with a fail.

Okay, first person who asked be about my identity. _Elizabeth, act normally._

"My name is Elizabeth Taylor. It's a pleasure, Mrs…?" I trailed off, sitting up and shaking her hand, casually. I could feel Severus' eyes on me. That wasn't helping much.

"Dolores Umbridge, Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher" she introduced herself as that nasty smile stood there, framed in pink crimson. That woman, fighting the Dark Arts? It looked like a joke. "And you are…?"

_Oh, well, sooner or later somebody would have asked that._ Though it could have been later instead of sooner, because I hadn't had much time to learn that lesson.

"I… well, I'm here because of the teacher of Muggle… Studies" I improvised on the fly, parting from the few details I remembered. "While I'm here I'll provide her the help and information she needs from first hand." My, so many years of oral presentations in front of teacher juries ended up making me develop the gift of improvisation and instant lie, who would have guessed that.

The enormous toad, not very pleased with my pretty lie, sized me up with her piercing look.

"Because of Professor Burbage? And what exactly are you going to help her with?"

"Miss Taylor is a _muggle_" interrupted Severus. Finally! I was starting to wonder how long would it take him to speak just to see me suffer a little longer. "She's here because Professor Burbage needs a subject of investigation and, while she's not with her, Dumbledore has assigned her to me; there's… too much work, lately."

That Dolores toad seemed to be suffering from a heart attack; even her eye was twitching… but she kept smiling, this time as if Severus was the funniest man on Earth. And we all know he wasn't.

"S-Se-Seveurs, are you telling me that… there is a _muggle_ in Hogwarts?" I could feel her repulsion in her mouse-like voice. And in her toad face. That smile fixed with super glue was vanishing at last, and it really didn't seem like good news. I stood there, with my chin up, defending my position as a _muggle_ with dignity.

As Severus didn't add anything else because the subject seemed clear enough, the corners of her mouth trembled; that damn smile couldn't resist any longer, just like the poles of a lame camping tent under a blizzard, and…

…she turned around and left. That easy. With funny steps, but strong-willed ones.

Once she was out of sight I breathed at ease. I no longer had that sensation of being scanned with X-ray. As I had finished my breakfast, I spotted Filch among the crowd and I attempted to approach him to ask him if Dumbledore had told him something else.

"Where do you think you're going, Miss?" Severus' voice stopped me.

"Somewhere I'm not called 'Miss'?" I shrugged, indignant. What did he want now? "I'm gonna ask the gatekeeper if Dumbledore's said something else about me."

"Haven't you heard what I just told Professor Umbridge?"

I scowled. That was all fictional, wasn't it?

"Yeah, very original" I said, feeling uncomfortable. He really expected me to...? "But it was a joke, right? Just like Albus said, it's all bureaucracy, no practice..."

"I don't believe I look like a man who tends to joke..." _Shit. He was serious._

And that was how, the first day I started to cope with that damn asylum, I found myself going down some unknown stairs, following a guy with a strange obsession for black colour and aversion to shampoo, who could read my mind as he pleased. Besides, those bloody stairs lead to the most dismal place they can lead you if they want to give you one warm welcome: the dungeons.

* * *

**_~Miss Jemand._**


End file.
